Apparently like every other Nottingham NTL cable modem user, I've spent most of the night with no internet access whatsoever.
Now, I can make the decision any time to spend a while offline and go and do something else. That's not a problem for me. But when internet access is removed from me not by choice, that's totally different... it's like the difference between voluntarily closing your eyes for a nap and being blindfolded by someone. So I was at a bit of a loose end tonight, checking the connectivity every few minutes, and trying to do other things but not really being able to concentrate. All the time wondering whether the problem affected a whole area - which would mean a rapid repair - or whether it was just our cable modem - in which case we could be without access for weeks.
This reaction seems to me to be abnormal, even though I was the one having it. Why does a sudden, relatively short loss of connectivity make me feel helpless like somebody's removed all my limbs? There are plenty of other things I could reasonably have done instead, if I'd let myself enjoy them. I'm an idiot sometimes.
Psychiatric advice on a postcard please...
May it be the addictions end... shining over you.