LOS ANGELES (TRP) -- The world of sci-fi fandom was stunned into silence today with the news that, in an unprecedented assault on quality television, a group of three rich people of questionable taste has donated $3m US in an effort to save the cancelled television show Star Trek: Enterprise.
Millions of longtime Star Trek fans, many still celebrating the recent mercy killing of this latest cancerous taint on the name of the Roddenberry franchise, are now faced with the possibility that this and other extreme acts might force Paramount to concede to the terrorists' demands.
The perpetrators behind the funding, whom police and angry mobs are still attempting to identify, might be planning further acts of aggression. Police warned that they may be armed and are likely to appear 'rich but uncultured'. On Wednesday the front page of the FBI website carried a warning that suspects "should under no circumstances be approached by the public or argued with on Usenet".
"It's a war of competing ideologies", said Prof. Joshua Levin from M.I.T. "Whoever these contributors are, they do not understand our values, our morals, our desires. Their way of thinking is totally foreign to us." Approached on the campus, a group of vocal Star Trek fans was less conciliatory in tone. "I've been waiting for four years for this wet turd of a show to end," said one, "and if I ever find out who these three cruel bastards are, then they're going to get intestinally acquainted with my 16-inch ERTL model of Deep Space 9."
Many fear that the minority actions of those fighting for Enterprise will lead to extreme acts of retaliation. Indeed, shortly before this report went to press, a story broke on the wire services quoting unconfirmed reports that the dismembered remains of Connor Trinneer have been found in a dumpster on the Paramount backlot.
Biased much? ;) Actually, I heard this news on Monday.
Oh if only that story was true... I know those rich uncultured people donated the money, but the reaction to it I've not heard of.
Why couldn't they do something sensible with the money instead? Donate it to fund a Trek series by JMS? Or even better, how about giving it to an aid agency to feed people in Africa?